Tomorrow... a weigh in. For some reason, I'm really worried about it.
Halloween pics:
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, November 12,2012... Day 12
Just checking in... We haven't weighed in in a few days. We've been a little bad, but really... not very bad at all. For me, it's TTOM. Ugh... UGH!! Need I say more?? I've been miserable. So no working out like I had been hoping. BUT on a VERY good note, No ALCOHOL FOR 12 DAYS! THAT is a record, folks! How ridiculous... But each day just keeps adding to that number. The kids are back today. They... challenge me. They make me crave alcohol. When I go 6 days with just me for the most part and Curt occasionally, when they come back it's shocking. I get a 3 hour run down of their week over at their dad's. Always fun. So they come home today and it is CONSTANT talking. And 3 of them are sick. So here I sit in bed, watching TV, waiting for Curt to get off work and listening to Berlyn cough and cough and cough. But, it's quiet, meaning, no talking!
Tomorrow... a weigh in. For some reason, I'm really worried about it.
Halloween pics:
Tomorrow... a weigh in. For some reason, I'm really worried about it.
Halloween pics:
Monday, November 5, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012.... Day 5
November 5, 2012, MONDAY
Day 5
CURT:
LOSS: 2.2 lbs
restart loss: 10.0 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 72.8 lbs
JAMIE:
LOSS: 2.4 lbs
restart loss: 4 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 9.6 lbs
Lunch:
C: eggs and chorizo
J: chicken breast
Dinner:
C: cottage cheese, marinara sauce, meatballs
J: cottage cheese, marinara sauce, parm cheese
Late night snack:
J: 100 calorie starbucks coffee
Water:
I said I'd be better at tracking today. I wasn't....
Exercise:
J: 30 minutes on treadmill, 10 minutes on bike
5 days without beer!!
We got the kiddos off to school and went back to sleep and woke up at 12:45!!! It was wonderful. That is when we did our morning weigh ins. I hope I don't freak out too much if I'm up alot tomorrow.
I've been having RAGING headaches for a couple days. I assume my body is screaming it wants naughty carbs.
On a non-diet note... I will be SO glad when tomorrow is over. I'm so tired of election stuff. I can't watch network TV, I can't go on Facebook. Hate this crap. Why don't people understand that them waving their political party flags is a turn off?? I have almost unfriended SEVERAL people. I know who I'm voting for. It will be the best option for my family, considering I'm not overly excited about either candidate. Being bombarded by hate statuses about either candidate is really not doing their candidate any favors. Ahhhh... I feel better. I won't post that on Facebook, so I'll get it off my chest here.
Day 5
CURT:
LOSS: 2.2 lbs
restart loss: 10.0 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 72.8 lbs
JAMIE:
LOSS: 2.4 lbs
restart loss: 4 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 9.6 lbs
Lunch:
C: eggs and chorizo
J: chicken breast
Dinner:
C: cottage cheese, marinara sauce, meatballs
J: cottage cheese, marinara sauce, parm cheese
Late night snack:
J: 100 calorie starbucks coffee
Water:
I said I'd be better at tracking today. I wasn't....
Exercise:
J: 30 minutes on treadmill, 10 minutes on bike
5 days without beer!!
We got the kiddos off to school and went back to sleep and woke up at 12:45!!! It was wonderful. That is when we did our morning weigh ins. I hope I don't freak out too much if I'm up alot tomorrow.
I've been having RAGING headaches for a couple days. I assume my body is screaming it wants naughty carbs.
On a non-diet note... I will be SO glad when tomorrow is over. I'm so tired of election stuff. I can't watch network TV, I can't go on Facebook. Hate this crap. Why don't people understand that them waving their political party flags is a turn off?? I have almost unfriended SEVERAL people. I know who I'm voting for. It will be the best option for my family, considering I'm not overly excited about either candidate. Being bombarded by hate statuses about either candidate is really not doing their candidate any favors. Ahhhh... I feel better. I won't post that on Facebook, so I'll get it off my chest here.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012.... DAY 4
November 4, 2012, SUNDAY
Day 4
CURT:
11/1/12: up 22 lbs from lowest weight on Oct 2. (It really is amazing how a month a AWFUL eating can do to your body
11/2/12:
LOSS: 1.8 lbs
restart loss: 1.8 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 63.6 lbs
11/3/12:
LOSS: 3.4 lbs
restart loss: 5.2 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 68 lbs
11/4/12:
LOSS: 2.4 lbs
restart loss: 7.8 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 70.4 lbs
JAMIE
11/1/12: up 22.2 lbs from lowest weight 6/24/12.
174.8 lbs
11/2/12: 172.4
LOSS: 2.4 lbs
restart loss: 2.4 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 7.8 lbs
11/3/12: 172.8
GAIN: 0.4 lbs
restart loss: 2.0 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 7.4 lbs
11/4/2012: 173.2
GAIN: 0.4 lbs
restart loss: 1.6 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 7.0 lbs
Late Breakfast:
C and J: Denver Omelet and hashbrowns, Starbucks skinny peppermint mochas
Dinner:
C: leftover chicken w/ ham and swiss cheese rollups and lemon pepper chicken, yogurt
J: scrambled eggs and bacon and 100 calorie Starbucks coffee
Water:
ummm... no clue. I'll start watching that better tomorrow.
We decided to start back on Dukan on November 1. We thought it would be easiest to start with my work load lightening up on that day. Curt is still working up in Boise. That sucks! It's hard to get dinners arranged when he's not working from home.
Curt is doing great on the restart! Me... not so much. Once again... there's that whole "going" issue that I get. I figure I'll have a woosh in a day or two. On a VERY bright note, I haven't had a beer in 4 days. Even better, I haven't even had the craving I normally get in the evening. It is so strange. When I start the diet, my mindset changes. My need for food (especially excessive amounts) and beer (this time...) just leaves.
CURT'S BIG GOAL:
60 lbs lost by his birthday, 3/11/13.
about 3.2 lbs a week
CURT'S MINI GOAL:
30 lbs lost by 1/1/13
JAMIE'S BIG GOAL:
34 lbs lost by Curt's birthday, 3/11/13
JAMIE'S MINI GOAL #1:
10 lbs lost by 11/19/12 (164.8 lbs)
JAMIE'S MINI GOAL #2:
15 lbs lost by 1/1/13 (159.8 lbs)
JAMIE'S MINI GOAL #3:
22 lbs lost by my birthday, 1/30/13 (152.8 lbs)
*have to get a new driver's license picture that day
Should be a fun journey!
Day 4
CURT:
11/1/12: up 22 lbs from lowest weight on Oct 2. (It really is amazing how a month a AWFUL eating can do to your body
11/2/12:
LOSS: 1.8 lbs
restart loss: 1.8 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 63.6 lbs
11/3/12:
LOSS: 3.4 lbs
restart loss: 5.2 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 68 lbs
11/4/12:
LOSS: 2.4 lbs
restart loss: 7.8 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 70.4 lbs
JAMIE
11/1/12: up 22.2 lbs from lowest weight 6/24/12.
174.8 lbs
11/2/12: 172.4
LOSS: 2.4 lbs
restart loss: 2.4 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 7.8 lbs
11/3/12: 172.8
GAIN: 0.4 lbs
restart loss: 2.0 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 7.4 lbs
11/4/2012: 173.2
GAIN: 0.4 lbs
restart loss: 1.6 lbs
total loss since 8/2011: 7.0 lbs
Late Breakfast:
C and J: Denver Omelet and hashbrowns, Starbucks skinny peppermint mochas
Dinner:
C: leftover chicken w/ ham and swiss cheese rollups and lemon pepper chicken, yogurt
J: scrambled eggs and bacon and 100 calorie Starbucks coffee
Water:
ummm... no clue. I'll start watching that better tomorrow.
We decided to start back on Dukan on November 1. We thought it would be easiest to start with my work load lightening up on that day. Curt is still working up in Boise. That sucks! It's hard to get dinners arranged when he's not working from home.
Curt is doing great on the restart! Me... not so much. Once again... there's that whole "going" issue that I get. I figure I'll have a woosh in a day or two. On a VERY bright note, I haven't had a beer in 4 days. Even better, I haven't even had the craving I normally get in the evening. It is so strange. When I start the diet, my mindset changes. My need for food (especially excessive amounts) and beer (this time...) just leaves.
CURT'S BIG GOAL:
60 lbs lost by his birthday, 3/11/13.
about 3.2 lbs a week
CURT'S MINI GOAL:
30 lbs lost by 1/1/13
JAMIE'S BIG GOAL:
34 lbs lost by Curt's birthday, 3/11/13
JAMIE'S MINI GOAL #1:
10 lbs lost by 11/19/12 (164.8 lbs)
JAMIE'S MINI GOAL #2:
15 lbs lost by 1/1/13 (159.8 lbs)
JAMIE'S MINI GOAL #3:
22 lbs lost by my birthday, 1/30/13 (152.8 lbs)
*have to get a new driver's license picture that day
Should be a fun journey!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Okay... I think I'm ready to get back to the blog world. I'm going to beat a couple dead horses, but bear with me, as I need to get things off my chest.
So, Curt and I mutually agreed it's time to start back up with Dukan. We had decided if he hit a certain point, that would be it. And he hit that point yesterday. So as of yesterday, we are back on Dukan. We were attempting our attack phase, but I didn't have anything in the house that I could pop into my mouth and I was STARVING, so I ate a bowl of soup. Of course, eggs still gross me out so breakfast is still a huge issue for me.
Ok, I have 3 things I'm going to write about.
#1. A dead horse. Stupid beer. I haven't had any hard liquor since June, so that's a huge start for me, but beer still is. I know, I've talked about it before. I feel like I'm constantly justifying why I drink so much... the kids drive me nuts, my ex-husband is an a-hole, my back is killing me, etc. The only remotely legitimate reason is the back ache and even then, it's stupid. I say that after I spent 6 hours hunched over a sewing machine today. Now, I'm sitting bundled on the couch after a hot shower with a hot pad on my back. It's working. A little. But no beer!! Beer/ alcohol is killing me. I have HORRIBLE heartburn, to the point I can hardly eat (makes me wonder why I'm gaining weight). I am stubborn and obstinate when drinking. I have a really loose tongue when I'm drinking and I say mean things I would normally never say. I'm REALLY emotional when I'm drinking. Not to mention, I'm gaining back the weight rapidly. So beer really needs to go. I think I'm going to write a letter to my pastor tomorrow about, seeking help.
#2. Hey look! Another dead horse. My mother.... she tries her hardest to make me feel like crap. I was having a business issue about a month ago. I have a business on ebay and someone complained about my shipping and handling charges being too high. So ebay and paypal froze my funds (over $1000) and I couldn't get my money til the items arrived or I was left positive feedback. My soon to be sister in law asked me how business was going so I was telling my family about this and my mom says to me, "Good grief.. what did you do wrong this time? I'm sure you did something wrong to make this happen!" The rest of my family just sat there looking at her. What do I say to this? That's just one thing. We've had a couple knock down drag outs in the past 2 months. I'm just choosing to distance myself from her and communicate only when absolutely necessary. Seems to work out better. But she says things like this to me and I rarely respond. And when I finally reach a breaking point (because a person can only take so much), I snap. I've been told at least 5 times this year by my mother that they walk on egg shells around me so I don't get mad at them and don't talk to them. Ummmm.... BULLSHIT! In fact, I think she sits around at night and writes down mean and hurtful things to say to me.
#3. This week, we are on a "fiscal fast"- meaning, we aren't spending money. We kind of did this spur of the moment so we couldn't be as good about this as we want (we had to buy gas today). But this is our first time and next time, we'll be better prepared for it. And we're only doing it 4 and a half days. My son is going to state in Cross Country this season and we're going up north to watch him run in his meet. We obviously have to spend money on this. So, we are planning to do this once every 2 months. We always have a ton of food in our frig and freezers and pantry. Gas may be an issue. Curt has been working in Boise this month. That's a 50 mile round trip 5 times a week. On fiscal fast week, if he's still working away from home, car pooling is necessary. I think that possibly that needs to happen anyways. Fiscal fast makes us think out our meals better, makes us reevaluate how much driving we want to do, and for next fiscal fast, I think I'm going to push to have our bikes fixed and ride bikes around if we need to go out. It's been weird. We have to go every day to feed and let a dog out. We go and come home. We normally go buy something. Not this week. But.. business purchases don't count. I have to buy shipping labels every day and fabric occasionally. Should be interesting. We'll see how the next one goes.
Now we start Dukan again. I wasn't so good today. I'm going to say start tomorrow, but even tho I wasn't good today, I wasn't as bad as normal. Curt has been good the past 2 days. He has a goal of being down another 50 lbs. by his birthday, March 11. Very doable. And we really need to start working out again. This may sound like lame excuse, but it's my super busy time of the year, so we'll start November 1.
So, Curt and I mutually agreed it's time to start back up with Dukan. We had decided if he hit a certain point, that would be it. And he hit that point yesterday. So as of yesterday, we are back on Dukan. We were attempting our attack phase, but I didn't have anything in the house that I could pop into my mouth and I was STARVING, so I ate a bowl of soup. Of course, eggs still gross me out so breakfast is still a huge issue for me.
Ok, I have 3 things I'm going to write about.
#1. A dead horse. Stupid beer. I haven't had any hard liquor since June, so that's a huge start for me, but beer still is. I know, I've talked about it before. I feel like I'm constantly justifying why I drink so much... the kids drive me nuts, my ex-husband is an a-hole, my back is killing me, etc. The only remotely legitimate reason is the back ache and even then, it's stupid. I say that after I spent 6 hours hunched over a sewing machine today. Now, I'm sitting bundled on the couch after a hot shower with a hot pad on my back. It's working. A little. But no beer!! Beer/ alcohol is killing me. I have HORRIBLE heartburn, to the point I can hardly eat (makes me wonder why I'm gaining weight). I am stubborn and obstinate when drinking. I have a really loose tongue when I'm drinking and I say mean things I would normally never say. I'm REALLY emotional when I'm drinking. Not to mention, I'm gaining back the weight rapidly. So beer really needs to go. I think I'm going to write a letter to my pastor tomorrow about, seeking help.
#2. Hey look! Another dead horse. My mother.... she tries her hardest to make me feel like crap. I was having a business issue about a month ago. I have a business on ebay and someone complained about my shipping and handling charges being too high. So ebay and paypal froze my funds (over $1000) and I couldn't get my money til the items arrived or I was left positive feedback. My soon to be sister in law asked me how business was going so I was telling my family about this and my mom says to me, "Good grief.. what did you do wrong this time? I'm sure you did something wrong to make this happen!" The rest of my family just sat there looking at her. What do I say to this? That's just one thing. We've had a couple knock down drag outs in the past 2 months. I'm just choosing to distance myself from her and communicate only when absolutely necessary. Seems to work out better. But she says things like this to me and I rarely respond. And when I finally reach a breaking point (because a person can only take so much), I snap. I've been told at least 5 times this year by my mother that they walk on egg shells around me so I don't get mad at them and don't talk to them. Ummmm.... BULLSHIT! In fact, I think she sits around at night and writes down mean and hurtful things to say to me.
#3. This week, we are on a "fiscal fast"- meaning, we aren't spending money. We kind of did this spur of the moment so we couldn't be as good about this as we want (we had to buy gas today). But this is our first time and next time, we'll be better prepared for it. And we're only doing it 4 and a half days. My son is going to state in Cross Country this season and we're going up north to watch him run in his meet. We obviously have to spend money on this. So, we are planning to do this once every 2 months. We always have a ton of food in our frig and freezers and pantry. Gas may be an issue. Curt has been working in Boise this month. That's a 50 mile round trip 5 times a week. On fiscal fast week, if he's still working away from home, car pooling is necessary. I think that possibly that needs to happen anyways. Fiscal fast makes us think out our meals better, makes us reevaluate how much driving we want to do, and for next fiscal fast, I think I'm going to push to have our bikes fixed and ride bikes around if we need to go out. It's been weird. We have to go every day to feed and let a dog out. We go and come home. We normally go buy something. Not this week. But.. business purchases don't count. I have to buy shipping labels every day and fabric occasionally. Should be interesting. We'll see how the next one goes.
Now we start Dukan again. I wasn't so good today. I'm going to say start tomorrow, but even tho I wasn't good today, I wasn't as bad as normal. Curt has been good the past 2 days. He has a goal of being down another 50 lbs. by his birthday, March 11. Very doable. And we really need to start working out again. This may sound like lame excuse, but it's my super busy time of the year, so we'll start November 1.
Friday, October 12, 2012
October 12, 2012
It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm not sure what my problem is. I'm constantly crying. Constantly pissy. I've put on 18 stupid pounds that make me feel like a damn failure. I look at myself and want to vomit.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
CURT: TOTAL LOSS: 81.8 lbs
JAMIE: TOTAL LOSS: 18.4 lbs
Curt again... still dropping and I'm still thrilled for him.
Me... as usual I'm stalled. But I'm taking this week seriously. I'm following MY diet to a T (which means Curt is too). We're not alternating PP and PV days. It's summer and the fresh veggies are pouring in. My mom is constantly giving me zucchini, cucumbers, peppers, eggplant, tomatoes, green beans. I can't pass those up, and I feel really guilty when they go bad. So this week... I'd like to work out every day at least an hour. It's still too dang hot here to run outside, so to the gym, Batman. I have a goal: I weighed in at 161.8 lbs this morning. I've been as low as 152.6 on June 23. I'm not planning on getting that low in one week, but I'd like to see 155 lbs by next Sunday, but I'd even be happy with 157 lbs. I would also like to see Curt down to 85 lbs lost. And he doesn't know this yet, but I'd like him to 100 lbs lost by Halloween.
Sadly, most of the time, how we eat, if we exercise, hinges all on my moods. I get stupid cravings and have to go eat to a drive thru and eat a large french fry at midnight.... AFTER I'VE BEEN GOOD ALL DAY LONG! And of course I drag Curt down with me. I always feel really guilty about it.
So on to a good week!
BREAKFAST:
C and J: egg and chorizo
LUNCH:
C and J: HUGE salad
DINNER:
C and J: grilled steak w/ horseradish sauce (horseradish, FF sour cream and dry dill) and sliced cucumbers and tomatoes
DRINKS:
C: 2 quarts of water, 44 oz. diet Pepsi, 1/2 can diet orange soda
J: 4 quarts of water, 44 oz. diet Pepsi (altho I had several kids helping me out), 1/2 can diet orange soda
JAMIE: TOTAL LOSS: 18.4 lbs
Curt again... still dropping and I'm still thrilled for him.
Me... as usual I'm stalled. But I'm taking this week seriously. I'm following MY diet to a T (which means Curt is too). We're not alternating PP and PV days. It's summer and the fresh veggies are pouring in. My mom is constantly giving me zucchini, cucumbers, peppers, eggplant, tomatoes, green beans. I can't pass those up, and I feel really guilty when they go bad. So this week... I'd like to work out every day at least an hour. It's still too dang hot here to run outside, so to the gym, Batman. I have a goal: I weighed in at 161.8 lbs this morning. I've been as low as 152.6 on June 23. I'm not planning on getting that low in one week, but I'd like to see 155 lbs by next Sunday, but I'd even be happy with 157 lbs. I would also like to see Curt down to 85 lbs lost. And he doesn't know this yet, but I'd like him to 100 lbs lost by Halloween.
Sadly, most of the time, how we eat, if we exercise, hinges all on my moods. I get stupid cravings and have to go eat to a drive thru and eat a large french fry at midnight.... AFTER I'VE BEEN GOOD ALL DAY LONG! And of course I drag Curt down with me. I always feel really guilty about it.
So on to a good week!
BREAKFAST:
C and J: egg and chorizo
LUNCH:
C and J: HUGE salad
DINNER:
C and J: grilled steak w/ horseradish sauce (horseradish, FF sour cream and dry dill) and sliced cucumbers and tomatoes
DRINKS:
C: 2 quarts of water, 44 oz. diet Pepsi, 1/2 can diet orange soda
J: 4 quarts of water, 44 oz. diet Pepsi (altho I had several kids helping me out), 1/2 can diet orange soda
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
CURT: 8/15- TOTAL weight loss: 72.6 lbs
8/16- TOTAL weight loss: 76.8 lbs
8/17- TOTAL weight loss: 77.0 lbs
8/18- TOTAL weight loss: 77.2 lbs
8/19- TOTAL weight loss: 79.0 lbs
8/20- TOTAL weight loss: 79.0 lbs
8/21- TOTAL weight loss: 80.6 lbs
JAMIE: 8/15- TOTAL weight loss: 16.6 lbs
8/16- TOTAL weight loss: 18.6 lbs
8/17- TOTAL weight loss: 18.6 lbs
8/18- TOTAL weight loss: 18.0 lbs
8/19- TOTAL weight loss: 16.8 lbs
8/20- TOTAL weight loss: 17.6 lbs
8/21- TOTAL weight loss: 19.8 lbs
Curt is at an all new low!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy and excited for him!!
That said... I SUCK!!! And I have no idea why! I'm am following my menus to a T! I was down to over 25 lbs lost and now... I'm up and I can't do anything to get it off.
We obviously were off the diet for awhile. Want to hear all my excuses why?? I didn't think so. So be aware.. we were naughty, but back on track now. It really helps that all the kids started back up to school this week.
8/16- TOTAL weight loss: 76.8 lbs
8/17- TOTAL weight loss: 77.0 lbs
8/18- TOTAL weight loss: 77.2 lbs
8/19- TOTAL weight loss: 79.0 lbs
8/20- TOTAL weight loss: 79.0 lbs
8/21- TOTAL weight loss: 80.6 lbs
JAMIE: 8/15- TOTAL weight loss: 16.6 lbs
8/16- TOTAL weight loss: 18.6 lbs
8/17- TOTAL weight loss: 18.6 lbs
8/18- TOTAL weight loss: 18.0 lbs
8/19- TOTAL weight loss: 16.8 lbs
8/20- TOTAL weight loss: 17.6 lbs
8/21- TOTAL weight loss: 19.8 lbs
Curt is at an all new low!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy and excited for him!!
That said... I SUCK!!! And I have no idea why! I'm am following my menus to a T! I was down to over 25 lbs lost and now... I'm up and I can't do anything to get it off.
We obviously were off the diet for awhile. Want to hear all my excuses why?? I didn't think so. So be aware.. we were naughty, but back on track now. It really helps that all the kids started back up to school this week.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
JAMIE:
Yesterday's weight: 156.0 lbs
Today's weight: 154.4 lbs
TOTAL LOSS: 25.8 lbs
Loss this week: 7 lbs (in the past 4 days!!)
CURT:
TOTAL LOSS: 77.0 lbs (that's a new low!)
I hope that my number is not screwed up too bad tomorrow. I made my breakfast- oat bran porridge- and COULD NOT eat it. It seriously made me gag. And I did the same thing yesterday on the eggs we had for breakfast. I'm going to have to find something for breakfast that works for me. Maybe I should make more dinner and eat the leftovers for breakfast. I just don't know, but I'll figure something out. Anyhow, we were up and running this morning. We had to drop one kid off at summer school, pick up another (who was in a pissy mood this morning, I might add) from her friend's house so she could go to work for Curt's dad, and then pick up yet another kid from the church camp bus stop. All in an hour and all over this town. This morning I woke up at 7 (3 hours before my alarm was to go off) and was parched. I had a Diet Cherry Pepsi sitting next to the bed, so I guzzled most of it down. 10 minutes later, I was in the bathroom vomiting it back up. Maybe that's some of the reason the porridge just wouldn't go down? Who knows? So we rushed out and I was starving. I had to break down and get something, which ended up being a BLT Subway sandwich that I split with Curt. OMG... it was tasty. And it stayed down. We'll be good for the rest of the day. I have meatballs in marinara sauce planned for dinner tonight.
It's nice to see my number dropping finally. I was having a rough couple of weeks there. And Curt finally saw movement and a new low, and he's been very well behaved, except for an occasional handful of peanut (that I'm not going to buy any more of because of this!).
Ok, to work I go!
Yesterday's weight: 156.0 lbs
Today's weight: 154.4 lbs
TOTAL LOSS: 25.8 lbs
Loss this week: 7 lbs (in the past 4 days!!)
CURT:
TOTAL LOSS: 77.0 lbs (that's a new low!)
I hope that my number is not screwed up too bad tomorrow. I made my breakfast- oat bran porridge- and COULD NOT eat it. It seriously made me gag. And I did the same thing yesterday on the eggs we had for breakfast. I'm going to have to find something for breakfast that works for me. Maybe I should make more dinner and eat the leftovers for breakfast. I just don't know, but I'll figure something out. Anyhow, we were up and running this morning. We had to drop one kid off at summer school, pick up another (who was in a pissy mood this morning, I might add) from her friend's house so she could go to work for Curt's dad, and then pick up yet another kid from the church camp bus stop. All in an hour and all over this town. This morning I woke up at 7 (3 hours before my alarm was to go off) and was parched. I had a Diet Cherry Pepsi sitting next to the bed, so I guzzled most of it down. 10 minutes later, I was in the bathroom vomiting it back up. Maybe that's some of the reason the porridge just wouldn't go down? Who knows? So we rushed out and I was starving. I had to break down and get something, which ended up being a BLT Subway sandwich that I split with Curt. OMG... it was tasty. And it stayed down. We'll be good for the rest of the day. I have meatballs in marinara sauce planned for dinner tonight.
It's nice to see my number dropping finally. I was having a rough couple of weeks there. And Curt finally saw movement and a new low, and he's been very well behaved, except for an occasional handful of peanut (that I'm not going to buy any more of because of this!).
Ok, to work I go!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
JAMIE:
7/20/12: 161.0 lbs
7/21/12: 158.6 lbs
7/22/12: 160.6 lbs
7/23/12: ?
7/24/12: 161.4 lbs
7/25/12: 159.6 lbs
7/26/12: 156.0 lbs
TOTAL LOSS TO DATE: 24.2 lbs
CURT:
TOTAL LOSS TO DATE: 76.8 lbs
I'm seeing progress. Finally! Nothing huge to talk about. I'm still irritated (see yesterday's post), but that's it.
I was going through all of our weight loss records. I realize that I must cheat ALOT! I know I do, but crap, I eat so much better than I did, that I can't believe I'm not losing more than I am. I really have just been consistently sitting around 157 lbs. On the other hand, it makes me wonder it I was easily on a path to gaining ALOT of weight and that I just nipped it in the bud? I sadly think that it was the latter. Curt is 4 lbs from another huge goal. He is behaving quite well, while I'm not really. So we're hoping that he hits this goal by the end of next week. It's fairly reasonable as long as we stick to what we've been doing the past week.
I will be honest, we have not been doing the PP/ PV rotation religiously. We've been following PV consistently. The reason: it's summer, we have TONS fresh veggies and I hate the idea of any of my veggies going bad just because it's not a PV day. So, until the fresh veggies are all gone, we'll probably be doing PV days.
7/20/12: 161.0 lbs
7/21/12: 158.6 lbs
7/22/12: 160.6 lbs
7/23/12: ?
7/24/12: 161.4 lbs
7/25/12: 159.6 lbs
7/26/12: 156.0 lbs
TOTAL LOSS TO DATE: 24.2 lbs
CURT:
TOTAL LOSS TO DATE: 76.8 lbs
I'm seeing progress. Finally! Nothing huge to talk about. I'm still irritated (see yesterday's post), but that's it.
I was going through all of our weight loss records. I realize that I must cheat ALOT! I know I do, but crap, I eat so much better than I did, that I can't believe I'm not losing more than I am. I really have just been consistently sitting around 157 lbs. On the other hand, it makes me wonder it I was easily on a path to gaining ALOT of weight and that I just nipped it in the bud? I sadly think that it was the latter. Curt is 4 lbs from another huge goal. He is behaving quite well, while I'm not really. So we're hoping that he hits this goal by the end of next week. It's fairly reasonable as long as we stick to what we've been doing the past week.
I will be honest, we have not been doing the PP/ PV rotation religiously. We've been following PV consistently. The reason: it's summer, we have TONS fresh veggies and I hate the idea of any of my veggies going bad just because it's not a PV day. So, until the fresh veggies are all gone, we'll probably be doing PV days.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
My vent...
I guess I was just waiting for an erupting point. Hey! Guess what?!?! Just got there. This has nothing to do with the diet. Just me getting a bunch of crap off my chest because I refuse to use Facebook like that. So... here goes. And I apologize. This will probably be long and all over the place.
I'm going to start with my ex-husband. I've been really struggling with this issue. At church on Sunday, the pastor addressed the issue of "love your neighbor." He also said that Jesus said to be at peace as much as possible with everyone. I'm paraphrasing there, obviously, but really... it's common sense. Anyhow... I've been really fighting with myself about, when it comes to my ex-husband, I need to get over stuff, forgive/ ask for forgiveness and all that jazz. I was right there on Sunday afternoon. I promise. I prayed about it and everything. And then... my kids came home on Monday. That is when I heard all about his new wife and some of the crap she's been pulling. They've been married barely a month. I've never met her, seen her once (and I will have to say, selfishly... she has a huge ass). Well... she is 45 (my ex is 38) and has 2 kids. One of those kids is a drug addict, had a little girl that she didn't take care, so the new wife has adopted her grand daughter (3 years old). She moves in, takes over the frickin' place, not too surprising really. Well, apparently, Berlyn, my youngest (8 years old), gets blamed for everything that this 3 year old does. Briyanna told me Berlyn cries all the time over there because she is always in trouble. THAT IS FRUSTRATING. ALOT! Then new wife says to Briyanna, "Well... I don't have anything against your mom, but.. " Briyanna said at that point she said a bunch of crap. I told her to tell new wife that she doesn't know me and to quit repeating crap to her that her butt-hurt husband fed her. I'm not sure what else to say to her/ them. I don't want to cause a fight. But shit.... I sure don't want to sit here and take it either. Here is my huge problem with this whole thing. I KNOW that I ended my marriage, that I chose to do things wrong. But I also know that he was at fault too. I'm not going to go into all of that. It's neither here nor there. Just know that he was not the perfect husband that he tries to tell people that he was. Anyhow, this all made me pretty mad, but I was still ready to try to make peace. Maybe. So... today... Ethan did some work for Curt's dad and got paid by a check. Last time he did this, we went to cash the check and it was an issue so we opened a checking account for him. I kept looking for his new debit card in he mail and never got, altho I got my guardian debit card several weeks ago. So we go in and try to cash or deposit the check he got this morning. Seriously.. 30 minutes of fighting with them. I had my card and they couldn't get his account to work. Come to find out, his debit card was mailed to his dad's house, despite me going to the bank at least half a dozen times in the past 6 months asking to change the addresses on ALL accounts. Then, found out the ex called the bank, pretended he was Ethan, gave them Ethan's social security number and birthday, and told them he wanted to shut down his checking account. And he also canceled Brenna's cash card that came to his house. I really can't begin to tell you how angry I am right now. I'm almost to that point of wanting to call in and cancel one of his accounts. But I won't go that low. Crap, I'm livid. I can't even put into words how mad I am.
Next subject, my brother... This isn't going to be a huge vent. At least I don't think so! My brother, divorced in June, is dating a much younger woman. He is 42, she is 26. But.. I love the new girlfriend! I've known my brother's exwife since I was in 4th grade, so... 26 years! His ex-wife is being a bitch, his youngest son is being an ass. I'm so tired of all these people. So... new girlfriend.. she's pregnant. 4 months pregnant! I'm really okay with all of this. My parents, on the other hand, are not! I hear everything from my dad and then my mom won't say a single word. But I know she is stewing. So I just pretend nothing is wrong and all but throw the new girlfriend in my mom's face. She's pregnant, needs our support. Honestly, I'm over all of this. Wish my mom was.
Last subject... Curt's family. UGH!!! I'll try to make this quick. His sister had a birthday party for her daughter, his niece. His sister invited his son (while he was at our house) and his ex-wife. Ummmm.... is it just me or was this a little screwed up? It's like my ex's brother inviting me and the kids to a birthday party instead of him and the kids. Once it was addressed, they all (sister and Curt's mom) said that they couldn't uninvite Curt's ex-wife. They did this last year too. Okay... it makes total sense to not piss off the ex-wife versus the new wife and brother??? OMG... it still makes my blood boil! And then, they invite us to a birthday party this weekend. I totally don't want to go. I feel like a damn after thought at this point. Invite the fucking ex-wife, for all I care... They do a damn good job of making me feel like I'm Curt's baggage. Thank goodness he doesn't look at me that way! I sadly want to cancel at the very last minute. I won't. But I want to.
And then there's his ex-wife... she... is... priceless! We're trying to sell the old house, but she has to sign papers. Surprise, surprise... she won't! And oh... there's more, but she's not worth wasting my breath on. She and my ex should find themselves on a ship and sail away!
If I used Facebook as a soap box, my status would be:
I HATE EVERYONE!
I'm going to start with my ex-husband. I've been really struggling with this issue. At church on Sunday, the pastor addressed the issue of "love your neighbor." He also said that Jesus said to be at peace as much as possible with everyone. I'm paraphrasing there, obviously, but really... it's common sense. Anyhow... I've been really fighting with myself about, when it comes to my ex-husband, I need to get over stuff, forgive/ ask for forgiveness and all that jazz. I was right there on Sunday afternoon. I promise. I prayed about it and everything. And then... my kids came home on Monday. That is when I heard all about his new wife and some of the crap she's been pulling. They've been married barely a month. I've never met her, seen her once (and I will have to say, selfishly... she has a huge ass). Well... she is 45 (my ex is 38) and has 2 kids. One of those kids is a drug addict, had a little girl that she didn't take care, so the new wife has adopted her grand daughter (3 years old). She moves in, takes over the frickin' place, not too surprising really. Well, apparently, Berlyn, my youngest (8 years old), gets blamed for everything that this 3 year old does. Briyanna told me Berlyn cries all the time over there because she is always in trouble. THAT IS FRUSTRATING. ALOT! Then new wife says to Briyanna, "Well... I don't have anything against your mom, but.. " Briyanna said at that point she said a bunch of crap. I told her to tell new wife that she doesn't know me and to quit repeating crap to her that her butt-hurt husband fed her. I'm not sure what else to say to her/ them. I don't want to cause a fight. But shit.... I sure don't want to sit here and take it either. Here is my huge problem with this whole thing. I KNOW that I ended my marriage, that I chose to do things wrong. But I also know that he was at fault too. I'm not going to go into all of that. It's neither here nor there. Just know that he was not the perfect husband that he tries to tell people that he was. Anyhow, this all made me pretty mad, but I was still ready to try to make peace. Maybe. So... today... Ethan did some work for Curt's dad and got paid by a check. Last time he did this, we went to cash the check and it was an issue so we opened a checking account for him. I kept looking for his new debit card in he mail and never got, altho I got my guardian debit card several weeks ago. So we go in and try to cash or deposit the check he got this morning. Seriously.. 30 minutes of fighting with them. I had my card and they couldn't get his account to work. Come to find out, his debit card was mailed to his dad's house, despite me going to the bank at least half a dozen times in the past 6 months asking to change the addresses on ALL accounts. Then, found out the ex called the bank, pretended he was Ethan, gave them Ethan's social security number and birthday, and told them he wanted to shut down his checking account. And he also canceled Brenna's cash card that came to his house. I really can't begin to tell you how angry I am right now. I'm almost to that point of wanting to call in and cancel one of his accounts. But I won't go that low. Crap, I'm livid. I can't even put into words how mad I am.
Next subject, my brother... This isn't going to be a huge vent. At least I don't think so! My brother, divorced in June, is dating a much younger woman. He is 42, she is 26. But.. I love the new girlfriend! I've known my brother's exwife since I was in 4th grade, so... 26 years! His ex-wife is being a bitch, his youngest son is being an ass. I'm so tired of all these people. So... new girlfriend.. she's pregnant. 4 months pregnant! I'm really okay with all of this. My parents, on the other hand, are not! I hear everything from my dad and then my mom won't say a single word. But I know she is stewing. So I just pretend nothing is wrong and all but throw the new girlfriend in my mom's face. She's pregnant, needs our support. Honestly, I'm over all of this. Wish my mom was.
Last subject... Curt's family. UGH!!! I'll try to make this quick. His sister had a birthday party for her daughter, his niece. His sister invited his son (while he was at our house) and his ex-wife. Ummmm.... is it just me or was this a little screwed up? It's like my ex's brother inviting me and the kids to a birthday party instead of him and the kids. Once it was addressed, they all (sister and Curt's mom) said that they couldn't uninvite Curt's ex-wife. They did this last year too. Okay... it makes total sense to not piss off the ex-wife versus the new wife and brother??? OMG... it still makes my blood boil! And then, they invite us to a birthday party this weekend. I totally don't want to go. I feel like a damn after thought at this point. Invite the fucking ex-wife, for all I care... They do a damn good job of making me feel like I'm Curt's baggage. Thank goodness he doesn't look at me that way! I sadly want to cancel at the very last minute. I won't. But I want to.
And then there's his ex-wife... she... is... priceless! We're trying to sell the old house, but she has to sign papers. Surprise, surprise... she won't! And oh... there's more, but she's not worth wasting my breath on. She and my ex should find themselves on a ship and sail away!
If I used Facebook as a soap box, my status would be:
I HATE EVERYONE!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Just a quick note to say we're alive! And that I made an amazing, easy lunch!
Chicken Salad Lettuce Wraps:
2 cans of canned chicken
1/4 c. FF sour cream
5 green onions, chopped very fine
2 stalks of celery, chopped very fine
1 T. Montreal chicken seasoning
So good!
Friday, July 20, 2012
July 20, 2012
Today's weight: 161.0 lbs
Yesterday's weight: 161.8 lbs
Lowest weight (6/24/12): 152.6 lbs
Highest weight on diet (8/22/11): 180.2 lbs
2 days no beer
CURT:
Total loss to date: 76 lbs
Well.... I guess at least the weight it down. I hate seeing the 160's. It has been MONTHS since I was that high, and now I'm there and can't seem to get out of it. But this shows me that I can't go back to the way that I was eating because I will be right back to where I was. Frustrating considering that I used to eat EVERYTHING whenever I wanted and didn't weigh a pound over 105 lbs. I know... I've had this conversation over and over in my mind again. 105 lbs isn't a healthy weight, and that is no where near the weight I'm aiming for. I'm just reminiscing about my skinny days. Sigh... I digress.
Today we woke up about 9:30 a.m. My dad invited Curt and I to a free steak lunch that started at 11 a.m. at a place where he buys weed sprayers (he is a licensed weed technician... yes... for reals). Pass up a free meal? Hell no! Plus they had door prizes. I won a collapsible cooler, and Curt won a hat full of little trinkets. So... we might have misbehaved just a little bit. We had the steak, no potato chips, no dinner rolls and butter, but we had a small spoonful (well.. mine was) of potato salad and a small scoop of homemade chili (that was TO DIE FOR, by the way!). There was also grilled onions. We both got a scoop of that, but I didn't eat mine because the butter was literally soaking through my plate from them. Curt, on the other hand, was naughty. And we got a little exercise chasing around my new nieces. They are a handful, but adorable. That whole thing is another story any itself and one of these days, I'm going to have to write that out just to get a bunch of stuff off my chest.
Dinner was FANTASTIC! We've got lots of zucchini and I've been loving using them. I love summer and fresh veggies!
Dinner:
BBQ hamburgers wrapped in lettuce with toppings
green salad
grilled zucchini slices
I used pam instead of olive oil
Evening snack:
handful of peanuts (been craving those since the Virginia trip)
Exercise:
J: chest and back P90X
Yesterday's weight: 161.8 lbs
Lowest weight (6/24/12): 152.6 lbs
Highest weight on diet (8/22/11): 180.2 lbs
2 days no beer
CURT:
Total loss to date: 76 lbs
Well.... I guess at least the weight it down. I hate seeing the 160's. It has been MONTHS since I was that high, and now I'm there and can't seem to get out of it. But this shows me that I can't go back to the way that I was eating because I will be right back to where I was. Frustrating considering that I used to eat EVERYTHING whenever I wanted and didn't weigh a pound over 105 lbs. I know... I've had this conversation over and over in my mind again. 105 lbs isn't a healthy weight, and that is no where near the weight I'm aiming for. I'm just reminiscing about my skinny days. Sigh... I digress.
Today we woke up about 9:30 a.m. My dad invited Curt and I to a free steak lunch that started at 11 a.m. at a place where he buys weed sprayers (he is a licensed weed technician... yes... for reals). Pass up a free meal? Hell no! Plus they had door prizes. I won a collapsible cooler, and Curt won a hat full of little trinkets. So... we might have misbehaved just a little bit. We had the steak, no potato chips, no dinner rolls and butter, but we had a small spoonful (well.. mine was) of potato salad and a small scoop of homemade chili (that was TO DIE FOR, by the way!). There was also grilled onions. We both got a scoop of that, but I didn't eat mine because the butter was literally soaking through my plate from them. Curt, on the other hand, was naughty. And we got a little exercise chasing around my new nieces. They are a handful, but adorable. That whole thing is another story any itself and one of these days, I'm going to have to write that out just to get a bunch of stuff off my chest.
Dinner was FANTASTIC! We've got lots of zucchini and I've been loving using them. I love summer and fresh veggies!
Dinner:
BBQ hamburgers wrapped in lettuce with toppings
green salad
grilled zucchini slices
I used pam instead of olive oil
Evening snack:
handful of peanuts (been craving those since the Virginia trip)
Exercise:
J: chest and back P90X
Thursday, July 19, 2012
July 19, 2012
Well... I haven't posted in a long time. I'm pretty down right disgusted with myself right now. Curt is actually doing quite well. He is almost down to his pre vacation weight. Me.... I'm a full 10 lbs above my pre vacation weight. Ugh.... We eat the same damn thing!! I'm not irritated with him. Just annoyed with myself. So....i guess I'm just going to have to get down to business. I haven't ate well, but not awful. I'm not exercising at all, but I'm have a couple physical issues. Of course.... Those physical issues are really not enough to totally keep me from working out, but its been an excuse that I've been riding for awhile. And then, I've been drinking too much. I'm using the, "my back hurts from working" excuse. Not that I'm exaggerating. My back really is on fire, but I need to find a different, healthy way to make me feel better. I think I'm gonna start keeping a count of days without a drink. Makes me more accountable. So here is what we ate today:
Late breakfast/ early lunch-
Steak and asparagus
Dinner-
Meatloaf and fried (in Pam) zucchini and onions
We need to drink more water. We're not drinking calories, just enjoying the Diet Pepsi a little too much. And tea. And crystal light.
We slept in today, thus no breakfast. Curt has started a new shift at work. He now works 5:00 pm to 1:30 am... While I actually like the schedule because it gives alot of together time before he works, it has thrown off our sleeping and eating habits. Its going to be awful when school starts back up!
Oh!! Other news.... My Pug had her puppies on Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning! 10 days early! And 5 males. They're stinkin' cute!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
A quick entry before bed. This morning's weigh in was good for both of us. Curt hit an all new low, with a grand total of 75.4 lbs lost. And I hit my same low as before, totally 26.6 lbs. I hope for a new low tomorrow and possibly hit 2 stones list by Monday morning. Its amazing what happens on the scales when you follow the diet closely and cut alcohol out of the mix. I'm dreading numbers when we get home from the trip. I'm hoping that we put in enough walking or a workout enough to even out the not so perfect eating. 2 more days of behaving, then off we go!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
This is going to be short. Curt is off work in 4 minutes. We both had good numbers this morning. I'm down another 1.4 lbs, and he was down 2.4 lbs! It was nice to see good numbers for both of us. I'm going to attribute my good numbers to no alcohol. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I was 154.4 this morning. I'd like to see the 153's.
Once again, no workout today, but I'm working my tail off cleaning my house from top to bottom. I have folded 7 loads of laundry from today alone. I can't remember if I mentioned this in yesterday's entry, but after cleaning out my nephew's room, I brought home ALL his laundry. My dining room table is completely covered, 3 feet high, with folded laundry. They had no washer and dryer, which is slightly ridiculous if you consider that they had amazing incomes but chose to waste their money on crap. So it appears my nephew took off his clothes, had no way to wash it and bought more crap. CRAZY! My kids' minds were blown away at the amount of stuff he had and how well he did NOT treat it.
Anyhow... Curt is off work. 11 days off straight!! YAY US!!
This is going to be short. Curt is off work in 4 minutes. We both had good numbers this morning. I'm down another 1.4 lbs, and he was down 2.4 lbs! It was nice to see good numbers for both of us. I'm going to attribute my good numbers to no alcohol. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I was 154.4 this morning. I'd like to see the 153's.
Once again, no workout today, but I'm working my tail off cleaning my house from top to bottom. I have folded 7 loads of laundry from today alone. I can't remember if I mentioned this in yesterday's entry, but after cleaning out my nephew's room, I brought home ALL his laundry. My dining room table is completely covered, 3 feet high, with folded laundry. They had no washer and dryer, which is slightly ridiculous if you consider that they had amazing incomes but chose to waste their money on crap. So it appears my nephew took off his clothes, had no way to wash it and bought more crap. CRAZY! My kids' minds were blown away at the amount of stuff he had and how well he did NOT treat it.
Anyhow... Curt is off work. 11 days off straight!! YAY US!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Well... it's been an interesting few weeks. We are leaving on vacation in 5 days. I'm a little excited. A little nervous. I know staying on the diet when you have to eat out nearly every meal is going to be rather difficult. So, to recap, we both had goals we wanted to reach. We both fell drastically short. I have to say tho, I know what my problem was. I was still not really cutting out the alcohol as much I a really should be. But... I think I have solved that problem. We went to a Nickelback concert last Wednesday. Curt's friend bought me 2 double shot screw drivers. Let's just leave it at this.. I don't even remember Nickelback coming on to the stage, I have bruises all over my body (I'm lucky I don't have a broken nose) that only God knows how I got them, I have no idea how I got to the car, I woke up in my underwear, and I found vomit in the drive way in the morning. Curt took care of me. And he still loves me after that. I did have 2 vodka and 7ups on Saturday night that I nursed for 6 hours. My daughter and I spent 2 days spraying weeds in the mountains (that's another story) and my back, hips, knees and ankles were killing me and had no meds on me. But since then, nothing. And I plan on keeping it that way. And maybe that will help the weight come off a little easier now. After we get back from Virginia, we plan on going gung-ho on eating and working out. I'm looking forward to it.
We've been going over to my brother's house helping them clean it up to move back in. My brother was married to his wife for 23 years and just got divorced a few weeks ago. They were separated for a long time and he could not get her out of that house. The house was the house my dad grew up in and he sold it to my brother several years ago. Well... thank God my brother doesn't read his blog, but his wife was an atrocious house keeper. Seriously, if you've seen Hoarders on A&E, you've seen their house. Anyhow, my brother's (pregnant) girlfriend is a trooper and is doing a ton of work on that house. My kids have been going over for their school community service hours. We've been painting walls and cleaning (and I mean CLEANING) my nephew's room. So we've been getting in a work out of some sort!
We've been going over to my brother's house helping them clean it up to move back in. My brother was married to his wife for 23 years and just got divorced a few weeks ago. They were separated for a long time and he could not get her out of that house. The house was the house my dad grew up in and he sold it to my brother several years ago. Well... thank God my brother doesn't read his blog, but his wife was an atrocious house keeper. Seriously, if you've seen Hoarders on A&E, you've seen their house. Anyhow, my brother's (pregnant) girlfriend is a trooper and is doing a ton of work on that house. My kids have been going over for their school community service hours. We've been painting walls and cleaning (and I mean CLEANING) my nephew's room. So we've been getting in a work out of some sort!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Day 14 of the 60 day photo challenge
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Without a doubt... my husband. We do practically EVERYTHING together!
Day 14- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Without a doubt... my husband. We do practically EVERYTHING together!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
So.... I've been having a pretty bad day. To the point of shutting down again.... Don't read this if my potty mouth is going to offend you.
This morning started out well. We got up, had a decent omelet breakfast, went to church. When we got home, my parents were sitting in my drive way. My mom was actually on her knees, in her Sunday best, weeding my flower beds. I was instantly irritated. But... that is really beside the point. She got up and handed me something she found in the flower beds:
In case you can't read that, it says "Still watching you!!"
At first, I kind of thought, what the hell?? But then I looked a little harder, and I recognize that writing. That is totally my ex-husband's "g" on the word "watching." I have since this time, called the county sheriff's and was told I have to go through the city police. I'll go over this briefly again. My ex-husband's brother is a city police officer and ANY time I do anything, my ex knows everything before I even hang up the phone. I don't necessarily want to file charges on him, but I do want them aware that there is a problem. And if I call and they go talk to him, he'll be pissed and I need to be on his good side for a couple more weeks. But... I would love to write a not back and throw it into his front yard that says, "Get a fucking backbone, quit hiding behind your fucking brother, and face me like a man!!" He's getting remarried next week (according to my children). I feel sorry for her.
Then... my mother.... It's not a secret on here that I often don't get along with her. She thinks she's perfect. And no.... I'm not exaggerating. She has actually said that out loud! Anyhow... I made a comment about how Briyanna (my 14 year old) takes that sizes off her shirts and sticks them to the wall. I said something about her showing off that she's an XS and then stuck my tongue out at the stickers. And my mom went off on me. She said that I used to tell her all the time that she was fat and that she by no means was, not near as big as I am now. And then told me that she's pretty darn sure that I weigh more than she does now. Well... bitch who is 5 inches shorter than me... no fucking surprise that I weigh more than you! And seriously... I don't remember every telling my mom that she was fat, and if I did, it was no more than once, and definitely not all the time. But I do remember... my mom wore "mom jeans." You know... those puffy waisted pants that flatter NO ONE! I probably made a comment about the pants!! Anyways... I was a little floored at the verbal assault from her. I was actually beyond a little pissed and almost told her to get her ass out of my house. But instead, I told her that at least I'm in better shape now than she is. And she retorted with a "well, I'm 65, I should hope so." I wanted to say, "Yeah??? A 65 year old should know the old saying, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!" But instead, I sadly said, "I'm in better shape now that you ever have been, mom." I know... I shouldn't have been that mean. It's not really a stretch of truth either, but crap.... I can't just let her keep walking all over me and not stand up for myself. All I thought afterwards for a couple of hours was, "I'll teach that bitch... I'll starve myself and workout til I'm 130 lbs again!" And then I realized... I can't let her get under my skin like that and turn myself into an anorexic. So, I'm going to put her back at arms length. Again. I just can't do this dance with her.
So.... I've been having a pretty bad day. To the point of shutting down again.... Don't read this if my potty mouth is going to offend you.
This morning started out well. We got up, had a decent omelet breakfast, went to church. When we got home, my parents were sitting in my drive way. My mom was actually on her knees, in her Sunday best, weeding my flower beds. I was instantly irritated. But... that is really beside the point. She got up and handed me something she found in the flower beds:
At first, I kind of thought, what the hell?? But then I looked a little harder, and I recognize that writing. That is totally my ex-husband's "g" on the word "watching." I have since this time, called the county sheriff's and was told I have to go through the city police. I'll go over this briefly again. My ex-husband's brother is a city police officer and ANY time I do anything, my ex knows everything before I even hang up the phone. I don't necessarily want to file charges on him, but I do want them aware that there is a problem. And if I call and they go talk to him, he'll be pissed and I need to be on his good side for a couple more weeks. But... I would love to write a not back and throw it into his front yard that says, "Get a fucking backbone, quit hiding behind your fucking brother, and face me like a man!!" He's getting remarried next week (according to my children). I feel sorry for her.
Then... my mother.... It's not a secret on here that I often don't get along with her. She thinks she's perfect. And no.... I'm not exaggerating. She has actually said that out loud! Anyhow... I made a comment about how Briyanna (my 14 year old) takes that sizes off her shirts and sticks them to the wall. I said something about her showing off that she's an XS and then stuck my tongue out at the stickers. And my mom went off on me. She said that I used to tell her all the time that she was fat and that she by no means was, not near as big as I am now. And then told me that she's pretty darn sure that I weigh more than she does now. Well... bitch who is 5 inches shorter than me... no fucking surprise that I weigh more than you! And seriously... I don't remember every telling my mom that she was fat, and if I did, it was no more than once, and definitely not all the time. But I do remember... my mom wore "mom jeans." You know... those puffy waisted pants that flatter NO ONE! I probably made a comment about the pants!! Anyways... I was a little floored at the verbal assault from her. I was actually beyond a little pissed and almost told her to get her ass out of my house. But instead, I told her that at least I'm in better shape now than she is. And she retorted with a "well, I'm 65, I should hope so." I wanted to say, "Yeah??? A 65 year old should know the old saying, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!" But instead, I sadly said, "I'm in better shape now that you ever have been, mom." I know... I shouldn't have been that mean. It's not really a stretch of truth either, but crap.... I can't just let her keep walking all over me and not stand up for myself. All I thought afterwards for a couple of hours was, "I'll teach that bitch... I'll starve myself and workout til I'm 130 lbs again!" And then I realized... I can't let her get under my skin like that and turn myself into an anorexic. So, I'm going to put her back at arms length. Again. I just can't do this dance with her.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Day 13 of the 60 day photo challenge
June 4, 2012
Day 13 of the 60 day photo challenge
Tough one... I have a couple bands I really enjoy, but I'm going to go with the Glee cast. We watch this show and I normally grin ear to ear.
I'm going to try to blog tomorrow about how the diet is going. We've been super busy, out of town, working, etc... It's time for catch up!
Day 13 of the 60 day photo challenge
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Tough one... I have a couple bands I really enjoy, but I'm going to go with the Glee cast. We watch this show and I normally grin ear to ear.
I'm going to try to blog tomorrow about how the diet is going. We've been super busy, out of town, working, etc... It's time for catch up!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Day 12 of the 60 Days of Photo Challenge
June 3, 2012
Day 12 of the 60 Days of Photos Challenge
Day 12 of the 60 Days of Photos Challenge
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
I love taking pictures. It has always been a passion of mine, but the past 2 or 3 years, I've really gotten into it. And my kids love to be models for me, especially Briyanna and Berlyn. So... I debating about taking my passion and turning it into a living. Maybe... I don't want to start hating it tho, so it's a lot to think about! (This would be Berlyn, by the way. I love her too!)
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